Handfasting

A handfasting is much like a typical marriage in which the couple, an officiant, friends and family are present. The couple exchange vows and rings if they wish. The couple usually has some attendants to assist or serve as witnesses. The officiant and the handfasting party sign the wedding license, pictures are taken in which everybody smiles, and everyone is happy.  However, there are differences:
Most couples design a unique ritual which fits their needs, but there are some things that fit a Celtic or Neopagan ceremony:

  • Choose a date near a full moon. Be aware that handfastings during the month of May are considered taboo because that is the month of the union of the Goddess and God. October- preferably the 31st- is considered a lucky day to be married.
  • The ceremony is often held outdoors; preferably in a wooded area or somewhere with trees. Always choose a backup location in case of rain.
  • The bride may not be dressed in a traditional wedding gown. The couple is encouraged to wear attractive clothes for the ceremony. The bride often wears red; Luna wore an off-white Medieval type gown.
  • The officiant will place a cord around the couple's wrists. It should be chosen by the couple and something both partners feel drawn to or agree on.  This symbolizes that the handfasting is a commitment as the two are united together by the cord. Traditionally one year and a day after being handfasted the couple returned to the officiant to repeat their vows if there was an intent to have a permanent relationship. This ritual is the source of the expression "to tie the knot."
  • The couple each reads a statement to the other much like the traditional wedding vows, but more personalized for the couple. 
  • The officiant finalizes the ceremony and they, the married couple, and the witnesses sign the marriage documents.

There can be a legally-recognized, permanent marriage or a civil union if certain legal standards are met as specified by the applicable state and province. Some stipulations are:

  • The officiating person must hold a valid license issued by the government to perform marriages, as Luna holds.
  • A marriage license has to be purchased in advance by the couple. Various jurisdictions have regulations in which the couple must meet certain gender, age, medical, and consanguine criteria. A license usually expires after some period of time. If a spouse has been married before, proof of divorce or annulment is normally required. 
  • A minimum interval of time may be required between the purchase of the license and the ceremony; likewise, there may be a minimum time before the dissolving of one marriage and entering another.
  • There usually must be witnesses at the ceremony (other than the officiating person and the couple) who will sign the license. A minimum of two is usually asked.
  • The couple must both be accepting of the fact that they are engaging in a ceremony that will cause them to be married according to state/federal law.

 

You need to check with the local office that issues licenses in advance. Various states and provinces have their own special regulations.  Couples who want their handfasting recognized as a legal marriage may have difficulty obtaining a person who is willing to officiate because most clergy would not be willing to conduct a non-denominational ritual.

Instead of being a legally binding ceremony, a handfasting can be a declaration by a couple that they wish to form a temporary or permanent "common-law" relationship. The couple would not be married after the ritual, but their devotion to each other would be made to their family and friends present.